Unemployed!

As of 10:00 this morning, I am officially no longer a Church employee. I just had an exit interview with the HR guy, signed a paper, and I was done. I just need to mail them my ID badge and parking pass. My jobless state is only temporary, though. On Monday I sign a freelance contract with my former supervisor, which allows me to continue working on my projects and essentially do the same job I was doing before, just part-time and from home now. I won't have benefits, but James's insurance will still cover us.

I'm not sure how much money I'll actually make, but we have lots of room to cut back our expenses. And if this job doesn't give me enough work, we can consider other options. If you know anyone who's looking for a freelance editor/writer, let me know.

In Atty news, he has been completely off oxygen for a couple weeks now. He still has his little heart murmur, so we met with the cardiologist this week to get on their radar. The doctor said the murmur is small enough that it's not worth treating at this point. We'll go back in toward the end of the year to follow up.

The poor guy still has acid reflux, and he's been a little constipated this week, but he's over 10 lbs now and growing steadily. I'm grateful to be able to stay home with him from now on.

Not feeling it today

I was going to say the "babymoon" is over, but really I'm just having a bad day. I'm exhausted and have a headache and Atty has been gassy and fussy but is sleeping at the moment. I fell asleep after the 7 am feeding and had a dream that I came home from somewhere and realized I didn't have Atty with me. I thought I had left him in his stroller on the bus, but just as I was freaking out and trying to call UTA, my friend Margaret called to say I'd left him in his stroller at her house and was I ok? Not a good dream.

Two days ago all was well, mostly. I had us both fed and dressed by 10 am, cleaned up the house, washed the dishes and made the bed, and got some other work done. I felt on top of things and very capable. Atty was still gassy, but I was in better shape to deal with it. Now I'm finding myself wandering around the house wondering where I've left stuff and trying to remember what I was doing with it in the first place.

I told Atty this morning, "Sometimes taking care of you isn't very fun. But I always always always love you and am so grateful you're here." I guess that about sums it up.

Under the Knife

Atty was circumcised yesterday, and it was more traumatic than I expected. I was under the impression it would be cut- and blood-free, and it wasn't. Some doctors don't let the parents watch, but our doctor never suggested I leave. I was grateful, because although it wasn't pleasant, I couldn't bear for him to go through it alone. It wasn't a decision we made lightly, and we still think it's the right decision in the long run, but it was hard to see our little boy uncomfortable again, especially when this time it was something we had control over.

He was uncomfortable for the rest of the day, but he did really well last night and is back to his regular sweet self today. Here are a couple pictures from last night.

He's getting bigger every day. I'm excited to see him learn and grow and discover the world, but part of me wants him to be my tiny little babe forever. I think I'll be ok as long as he never outgrows snuggles.

Due Date

Today is Atty's due date. I have a hard time imagining being pregnant this long, and I especially can't imagine giving birth to a baby his size. He is now 8 lbs 4 oz--EIGHT POUNDS!! He gained 15 oz in two weeks, the little chunk, and one of those weeks was in the hospital. He's sporting a double chin and is starting to get rolls on his arms and legs. What a trooper.

I don't think he would have been this big if he'd gone full term. He's been on some high-calorie formula to help him grow, so I'm pretty sure he's bigger than he would have been. When people see him now, strangers say "what a little guy!" and those who know his story say "he's bigger than I thought he'd be."

He got his first immunizations Thursday. He took it pretty well, but he's had a couple rough nights. I'm a little nervous for his circumcision next week. I suspect he'll be uncomfortable for a few days, which means not much sleep for us. Oh well, this too shall pass. I'll sleep with him in the recliner if I need to. It's amazing how quickly life is no longer about you once you have a baby.

Mothers Day

We were pleased to have Atty's Nana (James's mom) in town with us for Mothers Day. This was the first time she'd been able to see Atty in person, and she gave him lots of love. She also gave him our new favorite nickname for him: "Mr. Fussbucket." He's a sweet boy with a gentle disposition, but when he's uncomfortable or unhappy he has no problem letting you know. He rarely cries outright, but he fusses and grunts like a pro.


Three generations of Bennetts

Atty loved his Nana. We hope he gets to spend more time with her soon.

Back in the hospital

Atty has spent the last few days here at Primary Children's Hospital. Nothing too serious, just a mild respiratory infection. But his oxygen levels were low enough at the doctor's office on Wednesday that she wanted to run several tests to check everything out.

Turns out his immature lungs are a little inflamed and will need some help for a while. The doctor is calling it "chronic lung disease," but it sounds more serious than it is. He'll grow out of it, but he'll come home with oxygen and a monitor for about a month. He'll probably need the oxygen only when he eats and at night, but it's good to have it there if he needs it other times as well.

It also looks like the little guy has acid reflux. That's common with preemies, and he'll eventually grow out of it. He hasn't been spitting up very much, but he's obviously uncomfortable for a while after he eats. The doctor hasn't decided exactly how to treat it yet, but he'll probably get some medicine.

And the heart murmer we thought had corrected itself apparently hasn't, but it's pretty mild. If it doesn't close itself by the time he's a year old, he might need surgery. But we won't worry about that until then.

So he's got several small chronic problems, plus a bit of a virus, so we've been here since Wednesday. We plan to go home tomorrow (Sunday). His doctor plans to see him more frequently to keep a good watch on his health. He looks so big to us, but he's still such a little guy. But considering his due date isn't for another week or so, I'd say he's doing marvelously.

We love this strong little dude.

Settling in at home

Atty came home last Wednesday, 30 April 2008. We are thrilled to have him with us, even though we don't get nearly as much sleep as we used to. He is growing and thriving and hasn't had any of the problems he had at the hospital. He's outgrown his tiny bottles and is now drinking from bottles almost as big as he is--we figured he'd outgrow the 4 oz bottles pretty soon, so we got the long 8 oz ones. He's been taking 3 oz consistently, and sometimes up to 4 oz.

He sleeps for 3-4 hours at a stretch, but sometimes he gets all grunty and noisy in his sleep. We got him some gas medicine, which seems to help. He got his first bath with mama this morning, and even though he didn't always know what to think of it, he seemed to like it fine. Now he smells all fresh and baby lotion-y.

Here are a few more photos from the past week.

Atty & Amy, his other primary-care nurse. Amy was really good to Atty.

Atty & Grandma Poulson

Eyes open

With Auntie Lara

Sound asleep and tube-free

He's a good baby and a sweet boy. We love him lots and lots.