Pins and Needles

Atty comes home today!! In about two hours, as a matter of fact. We just need to wait until James gets off work, and we're heading up to get our boy. It's quite a surreal feeling--excited and thrilled and terrified and skeptical at the same time. Much how I felt the morning James and I got married--is this really going to happen? My whole world is going to change in a matter of hours, and everything looks and feels just a little different.

I'll post more about his homecoming tomorrow. Until then, enjoy this collection of photos and a video clip from the last few days. The video's a little choppy--we don't know how to fix that on our camera. But at least you get some motion and voice. I love those little hands.

Day 3 and Counting

Atty has gone three days without an A&B! AND he's been without oxygen for two days now. What a little wonderboy!

He's still working on the eating thing. He gets too tired drinking from a bottle, so he still gets some of his food through the tube. He seems to eat better when I feed him (she says with motherly pride), so I might take some time off next week so I can spend more time with him at the hospital and feed him more often.

I'm trying not to get my hopes up TOO high, but if things continue to go this well, he could come home next Wednesday. We'll survive if he needs to stay a little longer, but it would be so nice to have him home next week.

On a semi-related note, our combined hospital costs are now close to $150,000. One statement for Atty's care alone was $103,000. We don't have to pay that much, of course, and there's no way insurance is paying that much, either. It's like they have to charge twice as much so they get what they really want. But it's still heart-stopping to realize the costs of health care. I'm so grateful for insurance.

We don't spend ALL our time at the hospital...

Last night James and I went to the ballet. It was a collection of four short performances, each with a very different flavor. Kind of like a ballet sampler. The first was "Serenade" (pictured above) by George Balanchine. I'm not super familiar with ballet, but this was the one and only Balanchine piece I've heard of, and it was absolutely lovely. Classic, elegant, and with a little drama. It made me want to get one of those skirts and leap around my living room.

Next was a dramatic pas de deux, Hamlet and Ophelia. Then there was an all-male piece that was supposed to be very masculine, but in my humble opinion, it wasn't. I've seen some very powerful, masculine dance, and this just wasn't it. The costumes didn't help: puffy peach shirts and tights don't scream manliness to me. But it was still well done.

The headlining piece was "Nine Sinatra Songs" by Twyla Tharp. (James pointed out that it should really be called "Eight Sinatra Songs," since they used "My Way" twice. Sure, they were different versions, but still....) The choreography and costumes were much more modern, though still definitely ballet. It was interesting to recognize it as ballet even though it was more ballroom-style.

I'm not a huge Sinatra fan, but I really liked this piece. My only complaint is that we were sitting a little too close to a speaker, so those final notes of "My Way" were a bit intense. I shouldn't complain, though, because our seats were great--3rd row orchestra.

This isn't the kind of thing I'd normally search out, but James got free tickets through SLUG, so we went. I'm really glad we did. I miss going to things like this. Susan and I had season tickets to the opera for two years, and I don't think I've been to the opera since. I haven't been to the symphony since Margaret moved to Boston, and I haven't seen a play for a couple years. Maybe I need to look into upcoming events more closely.

Speaking of which, James and I are really excited for an art exhibit opening at the UMFA next month: Monet to Picasso, from the Cleveland Museum of Art. All you Utah people should come check it out. There will be pieces from some of our favorite artists, including Van Gogh and Modigliani. We're thinking of becoming museum members so we can get invited to the preview social and get free tickets. Yes, it would be cheaper to just buy two tickets after it opens, but this way we'll stay informed about upcoming events. I've missed a few that I really wanted to see just because I wasn't paying enough attention. (I shudder to think of how much of life I've missed simply because I wasn't paying attention.)

Art: It does a body good.

Let the countdown begin...kind of

Yesterday we got our first semi-solid estimate on when Atty might be able to come home.

Short answer: the very SOONEST he could come home would be 30 April, or a week from Wednesday.

Long answer: He has to be off caffeine for 14 days, then have no A&B's for 7 days after that. (Don't know what an A&B is? See sidebar on right for link to more info.) This Wednesday will be his 14th day without caffeine, and the 30th is 7 days after that. He was taking caffeine because it stimulates the part of his brain that reminds him to breathe, but he has now reached the age where it doesn't have as much an effect, so they stopped it.

Please note that this is NOT a guarantee that he will be ready to come home on the 30th. Right now it seems very unlikely that he could go 7 days without an A&B. He's been having them every day until now, and with his acid reflux and mild constipation, it's likely to continue like that for a while. (His A&B's are usually connected to one of the two experiences.)

He's still eating like a champ, and although he still has oxygen, it won't keep him from coming home. Let's keep our fingers crossed and take lots of deep breaths for little Atty.

Spring just makes me happy.

I know we're expecting thunderstorms this weekend, but I just have to say that these sunny days and warm breezes have done wonders for my soul. I love hearing the birds in the morning and seeing buds on the trees (even the stinky ones). I love seeing the bulbs coming up and being able to go for walks in the sun. I love the smell of hyacinths. It reminds me of one of my favorite poems:

If of thy mortal goods thou art bereft,
And of thy slender store two loaves alone are left,
Sell one
And with the dole,
Buy hyacinths to feed thy soul.

Atty's first bath

Last night was pretty eventful for the little guy. First, we replaced the tape holding his oxygen and feeding tubes in place, so we got to see his naked face for the first time.

It's not the best picture, and we didn't have the chance to take many more because we didn't want to leave him without oxygen for very long. He's doing his John McCain face again. We'll have to work on his Obama impression... ;-)

Second, he got his very first bath. We weren't sure how he would react to the water. I kept reminding him he's a Pisces, so he should like the water. For preemies they do what's called a "swaddle bath," where you keep him swaddled in a blanket in the water so they don't feel too exposed and vulnerable. And it helps with keeping a grip on that slippery little body. Here he is going into the water:

Oooooh yeah, he liked that a lot. He was still all squirmy and fussy from getting his tape removed, but as soon as we put him in that warm water, he got really mellow really fast. The pacifier didn't hurt, either.
(Yes, I'm wearing the same shirt I wore Sunday. Forgive me for not being more creative on a Monday morning.) With me is Atty's nurse Emily. We really like Emily. She's one of his primary care nurses, so we see her a lot.

Still mellow and content...

He didn't like getting out of the water one bit. He wailed, but he calmed down pretty quickly once he got all wrapped up and snuggly.

Then we had to get him diapered and dressed and put his feeding tube back in, which he didn't like at all. But here he is all warm and clothed and snuggly and getting fed (you can see the formula tube from the pump in the lower right corner). He's up to 42 ml per feeding, and he's just over 5 lbs now. He still fits into his preemie clothes, and everything else is still too big. Probably not for long, though.

So that's how Atty spent his first (month) birthday. Emily said she put a little cake in his formula to celebrate. :) We are so proud of our little man.

One month old

Today is Atty's one-month birthday. He now weighs just under 5 lbs, and he's still doing really well. James and I had a nice long visit with him yesterday.
Here's a video of his fantastic drinking skills. We try to help him pace his eating, so we have this back-and-forth thing going: give him a little milk, then tip so the milk drains out of the nipple to let him breathe, then tip a little more milk in. Eventually he'll do it for himself, but now he needs a little help. You can't see his face very well in the video, so I've added a "bottle's-eye view" of him drinking. This is what he looks like pretty much the whole time he eats, unless his eyes are closed. Such concentration...

He gets his first bath tonight. We'll take pictures and post those tomorrow.