Sweetness

It's 10:04 a.m., and Atticus is asleep with his head in my lap. The poor boy has a double ear infection, and although he slept soundly last night, either the infection or the antibiotics is making him sleepy. Part of me wants to slide out from under him and go do something productive, like change the laundry or do the dishes, but the rest of me just wants to sit here and listen to him breathe.

Confessions of a wannabe urban hippie

I confess, sometimes I covet what I call the catalog life: I want to be a trendy, fashionable mom who wears whimsical, coordinated outfits and lives in a house full of Pottery Barn furniture, drives an SUV to go grocery shopping at Costco or Whole Foods, and has beautifully dressed, well-behaved children. Oh, and a dog. I want to eat in boutique restaurants and buy gorgeous little boxes of gourmet macaroons as thank-you gifts for my friends. That just looks fun.

But then something happens that brings me back to my real life and reminds me why I love it. Yesterday I went to pick up our first share of food from the community co-op. I'd been thinking about joining for a long time, but it just never seemed that convenient, and I wasn't sure it would really save us money. But I think I may be hooked.

The primary purpose of the Community Food Co-Op is to make it economical to get fresh food into lower-income homes. But anyone can join, and the distribution runs from Nephi to Ogden. You order once a month, and because they're buying in bulk, it ends up being cheaper than the grocery store. Here's what we got for the standard $24 share:

• 1 lb ground beef
• 2 lbs chicken thighs
• 2 lbs chuck roast
• 1.5 lbs boneless pork spare ribs
• 5 oranges
• 5 apples
• 5 pears
• 1 large celery
• 4 yams
• 1 head romaine
• 8 oz mushrooms
• 5 lbs onions
• 2 lbs carrots

Plus there are optional "add ons" each month, and we got a half gallon of local apple cider for $2 and 2 lbs local honey for $6.

Even better than the great prices was the feeling of community I experienced. When I went to pick up the food at 8 am (practically in my jammies), the people were so friendly and welcoming and seemed happy that I was there. Then when I was checking out, I ran into a woman from our ward that I've been wanting to get to know better. We chatted for a minute, and she told me about a clothing/supply drive her roller derby league is having for a women's shelter. Then she invited me to try out for roller derby in a couple weeks. I might just do it, even just to see what it's all about.

Then when I was driving home I passed the houses of friends, and waved to a friend walking her dog. I've lived in this neighborhood for over 10 years, and I feel like part of a community. I like this feeling, and I wouldn't trade that for anything, not even a cute pair of ballet flats or a case of organic Oreos.

A quieter moment

Meltdown

Last night Atticus was in full meltdown mode, and it was a little scary. He's had meltdown moments, but this went on for over an hour, and it wasn't nearly close enough to bedtime. Luckily I have a creative-thinking husband.

It's like Atticus's brain short-circuited and he got caught in some kind of memory loop (to get all sci-fi): he kept sobbing and asking for help putting on his pants, even coming up to me and saying "hep! hep!" So I'd say, "Do you want me to help you put on your pants?" "Yeah!" But as soon as I made a move toward him, he'd freak out and scream "NOOOOO!"

Like I said, this went on for over an hour, him going back and forth like that over putting on or taking off his pants, eating or not eating something, sitting on my lap or not, etc. Twice I calmly took him to his room and put him on his bed with his blankie and pacifier ("passa") and told him that he didn't need to go to sleep, but he couldn't come out until he had calmed down. Once, thinking he was just attention-starved, I snuggled him close and sang to him. Both times he calmed down, but as soon as he tried to talk or move into the living room again, he'd melt into the same cycle.

James and I were both at wit's end, so James decided to take Atticus out somewhere to give me a break. But Atty freaked out about me staying home without him, so I went along. He was still melting down as we put him in the car seat, but once we got in the car and turned up the radio, his sobs lost some steam within a few blocks. By the time we got to Trolley Square, he might have actually smiled.

Miraculously, he remained in a fairly pleasant and cooperative mood while he ran around the mall. He was flat out chipper when we went to Hires for "fwench fwies." Needless to say, he crashed hard when we got home, and he went to bed earlier than normal.

I do love being a mother. And I'm so glad I don't have to do it alone.

Fy Truck!

On Saturday we saw a fire truck in the parking lot at Costco, and Atticus flipped out. No one was around, so we asked him if he wanted to touch it. Oh yeah, he did. He ran up to it, then touched it with one finger, all careful like. As he went along he got more adventurous and excited, and he was thrilled when we put him on the front bumper. We could barely get him to stand still long enough to take the picture.

Oh, and he's wearing his favorite shirt. When he saw me pull his "wo-bot" shirt out of the dryer, he tried to pull off his jammies so he could put it on right then. Unfortunately it was time for bed, so he had to keep his jammies on. But he got to wear it the next day, and the next two days after that. Three days is my limit.

My goodness, I love this kid.

This and That

More unrelated pictures. Atticus enjoying "frites" at our favorite Belgian waffle shop.

• I've started working again part-time. I'm back at my old job with the Church, working on visitors' center exhibits. I'm not an official employee, and I only go in a couple times a week. Atticus plays at his friend Mia's house while I'm gone. I'm not sure how long this will last, but it's nice to make some extra money. Unfortunately, sitting at a desk for 6 hours at a time is bringing back all my chronic pains. Definitely not going back full-time.

Male bonding over an iPad game where you drop bombs on zombie-filled cities.

• I made lasagne in the crockpot last week. When I first saw the recipe, I envisioned my brother Adam's attempt to make spaghetti in the crock pot. Not a success. But it turned out really tasty. I kept trying to figure out the advantages of using the crock pot instead of the oven, and there really weren't any, except for maybe energy consumption and not heating up your kitchen. So why on earth would you make lasagne in a crock pot? BECAUSE YOU CAN! Bwaaa haaa haaaa!!

Blurry iPod photo of a really excited boy.

• Halloween was kind of a bust for us this year. I made Atticus a really cute grinder monkey hat to wear, but he refused to wear it. Not even to take a picture. James made this great grinder organ from some cardboard, our pasta maker, and an iPod (to play the music). But when it came time for the costume contest at the ward party, Atty just wanted to "wun awound" in circles, so I had to wear the hat. We won for cutest costume. I also won for grossest dessert with my dish of roasted intestines. I used pureed apple pie filling for the filling. And it was extra gross because the pastry didn't cook all the way. I didn't eat any. James scored with his jack-o-lantern, though. Someone asked us if we'd had it carved professionally. Does such a thing exist? I'll post pictures after James uploads them. And I'll try to get a photo of Atty in the hat.

New Calling

Picture is unrelated. These are from our trip to the Temple Quarry a few weeks ago.

James was released from the bishopric yesterday, and we were both called as service missionaries in a new branch in our stake. We will be starting up a tutoring program, primarily for a family of French-speaking teenagers who recently immigrated from Guinea. We also have one woman studying for her GED, and we expect it to expand. We're a bit daunted by the magnitude and the logistics, but we already have volunteer tutors who are excited to help. We met everyone this week, and our first tutoring session is Thursday. We'll see how it goes.

We'll also be teaching a French-language Sunday School class in the new branch. The African family are recent converts, and only the mom speaks much English. I'm most excited about this part. I'm comfortable teaching, and James is really good at it, and it will be nice to interact one-on-one.

I'm sad to be leaving our regular ward, and I'm nervous about the new branch. It's an interesting branch. The stake took what was arguably the most struggling ward in the stake and split it into a ward and two branches. This ward had a huge amount of welfare needs, and the bishop was just overwhelmed. Now there are three priesthood leaders covering those needs, and all three units are growing. Our branch covers the area right around the grocery store where James used to work, so he knows a lot of the people from the store. He could point out all the members he used to sell beer and cigarettes to during the week. But in this branch that just doesn't matter. We're just happy they're coming to church. So the branch president decided that as long as they don't smoke or drink on the premises, they can hold a calling.

And everyone is automatically enscripted into the choir. Choir practice is 6 minutes long, immediately after sacrament meeting. I haven't seen a performance yet, so I'm not sure how it works. I'm looking forward to the Christmas program. We've already been assigned to sing a French carol with the African family.

The biggest downside, though, is that the branch meets from 1-4, right when Atticus normally takes a nap. Sacrament meeting is last, so I may spend most of the meetings in the mothers' room, rocking a sleeping child. And Atticus is one of only a few toddlers (or babies, for that matter), so when he makes noise, everyone hears it. Yesterday he got excited every time they said "thy Son" in the sacrament prayers. He loves to point out the sun and the moon and the stars whenever he sees them, so every time they said "thy Son," Atty yelled, "da sun!" Never done that before. Also I never noticed how many times they use those words. It's a lot.