My goodness, the last two weeks have felt like an epic fail. I want to turn it around, and I'm just not feeling motivated. Help!
My diet slipped and I didn't make it to the gym for a week, and when I got on the scale I was back to my starting weight. Worse, when I got on the machine at the gym, I was panting like I'd never worked out. I worked hard to achieve so little, and with one bad week I lost all the ground I'd gained.
I was so discouraged I spiraled into even worse habits this week. Because that makes so much sense, right?
My body feels terrible, and I'm grumpier and more irritable than before. Yes, I'm experiencing a higher-than-normal level of stress. I've applied for a new job, a process that started in January and finally reached the interview stage a week ago Wednesday. I'd been hoping to hear back within a few days, but the person in charge of hiring was traveling all last week, so I'm crossing my fingers for the upcoming week. It really is cruel and unusual treatment to stretch out the hiring process this long, but they're historians, so maybe they have a different concept of "a long time." And I really, really want this job, so I will wait as patiently as I have to.
But it's not like getting this job will completely change my eating and exercise habits, though they do have a rule of no food in the office (the office is in the same building as the library and archive, so food is a big no-no). Right now I'm surrounded by snacks and eat primarily at my desk, so that would certainly change. And my office would be on the 4th floor, so I could take the stairs more.
Anyway. I'm frustrated with myself. Why is it so hard to translate knowledge into action? What is the key to making it stick?
Saturday, April 25, 2015
Monday, April 13, 2015
Week 5
Weigh in: down half a pound.
Last week was rough. I got sick, and I just felt drained and grumpy all week. I made it to the gym once, and I did a bare-bones workout at home one day. Plus James got a box of chocolate from Indonesia and a dozen Kinder Surprise eggs from Canada, so my "no sugar" goals didn't stick. But the strange thing is, the sugar didn't satisfy me. I even broke out my fancy dark chocolate bar, and it was disappointing. I still craved good desserts, but I didn't cave.
Successes: I tried a 30-minute "boot camp" class at the gym. It was tough, but it pushed me harder than I push myself. They're starting the 4-week session again next month, and I plan to join. I also exercised at home when I really just wanted to stay in bed.
Goals for this week: Limit carbs (no specific guidelines). No fast food. Increase exercise duration/intensity.
How do I plan to limit carbs and junk this week? What foods do I need to replace, and what will I replace them with?
The key word here is PLAN. Saturday I wrote out a menu and committed to actually cook and prepare meals. Last night we had lime-ginger mahi mahi, and it was delicious. Super easy. James and Atticus even liked it, and James doesn't generally like fish. I don't think I can add it to the weekly rotation, but maybe once a month. On the side we had sautéed baby bok choi and brown rice with cilantro.
My biggest concern is lunch. I normally take leftovers, but I knew we wouldn't have leftover fish, and some of the other meals I planned wouldn't have leftovers either. So after dinner I stayed in the kitchen and made a batch of chicken-and-veggie patties. Prep was super easy with the food processor. Cooking took the longest, but even with that I was done within an hour. I made about 13 larger patties instead of 30 minis. They were tasty. Kind of like an omelet, strangely, but in a good way. I froze half for the future. Oh, and I also baked some chicken thighs for a recipe I'm making later this week.
Tonight is chili dogs for convenience and to keep my boys happy. I'll cut up carrots and celery to go with them. After dinner I plan to make a batch of granola and shred cabbage and carrots for a peanutty slaw I'm making later this week. I greatly prefer to prep a couple days ahead, when the pressure is off. I can enjoy the process rather than worry about getting food on the table quickly. I need to remember this.
Look back over the past month. What positive changes have I made?
I'm exercising again, and I like it. I'm eating more vegetables and planning my meals better. I'm spending less time on the couch. I've stopped raiding the snack cabinet at work. I wore a knee-length skirt to church yesterday for the first time in forever. I'm spending more time outside. All great things.
Last week was rough. I got sick, and I just felt drained and grumpy all week. I made it to the gym once, and I did a bare-bones workout at home one day. Plus James got a box of chocolate from Indonesia and a dozen Kinder Surprise eggs from Canada, so my "no sugar" goals didn't stick. But the strange thing is, the sugar didn't satisfy me. I even broke out my fancy dark chocolate bar, and it was disappointing. I still craved good desserts, but I didn't cave.
Successes: I tried a 30-minute "boot camp" class at the gym. It was tough, but it pushed me harder than I push myself. They're starting the 4-week session again next month, and I plan to join. I also exercised at home when I really just wanted to stay in bed.
Goals for this week: Limit carbs (no specific guidelines). No fast food. Increase exercise duration/intensity.
How do I plan to limit carbs and junk this week? What foods do I need to replace, and what will I replace them with?
The key word here is PLAN. Saturday I wrote out a menu and committed to actually cook and prepare meals. Last night we had lime-ginger mahi mahi, and it was delicious. Super easy. James and Atticus even liked it, and James doesn't generally like fish. I don't think I can add it to the weekly rotation, but maybe once a month. On the side we had sautéed baby bok choi and brown rice with cilantro.
My biggest concern is lunch. I normally take leftovers, but I knew we wouldn't have leftover fish, and some of the other meals I planned wouldn't have leftovers either. So after dinner I stayed in the kitchen and made a batch of chicken-and-veggie patties. Prep was super easy with the food processor. Cooking took the longest, but even with that I was done within an hour. I made about 13 larger patties instead of 30 minis. They were tasty. Kind of like an omelet, strangely, but in a good way. I froze half for the future. Oh, and I also baked some chicken thighs for a recipe I'm making later this week.
Tonight is chili dogs for convenience and to keep my boys happy. I'll cut up carrots and celery to go with them. After dinner I plan to make a batch of granola and shred cabbage and carrots for a peanutty slaw I'm making later this week. I greatly prefer to prep a couple days ahead, when the pressure is off. I can enjoy the process rather than worry about getting food on the table quickly. I need to remember this.
Look back over the past month. What positive changes have I made?
I'm exercising again, and I like it. I'm eating more vegetables and planning my meals better. I'm spending less time on the couch. I've stopped raiding the snack cabinet at work. I wore a knee-length skirt to church yesterday for the first time in forever. I'm spending more time outside. All great things.
Tuesday, April 7, 2015
Update
I weighed myself again this morning, and I'm down two pounds from yesterday, so my total loss so far is three pounds.
And, small miracle, I could walk without pain this morning. My ankle is getting more sore as the day goes on, but I'm walking without a brace or a cane, so hallelujah! I'll wear a brace to the gym tonight.
Buoyed by these positives, I just walked away from a double-layer ganache chocolate cake from Market Street. I'm still kind of hyperventilating inside, which is embarrassing because come on, it's just cake.
And, small miracle, I could walk without pain this morning. My ankle is getting more sore as the day goes on, but I'm walking without a brace or a cane, so hallelujah! I'll wear a brace to the gym tonight.
Buoyed by these positives, I just walked away from a double-layer ganache chocolate cake from Market Street. I'm still kind of hyperventilating inside, which is embarrassing because come on, it's just cake.
Monday, April 6, 2015
Week 4
I'm up a pound. This is supposed to be normal, because I'm building muscle. And I am building muscle. Not that anyone else would notice, but I can feel it in my arms, and this morning I found a nice little bulge in my calf while I was shaving. My body feel stronger--I carried the heavy bags of groceries without even noticing the weight. So this is all good and worth it. But being up a pound, especially when I've only lost 2 in three weeks, still stinks.
And I overworked my ankle Saturday, so I've been hobbling in pain for two days. I had expected to feel better today, but no luck. Which means I'm not going to the gym today. Hopefully tomorrow.
This last week we were allowed to have one dessert if we wanted, so with it being Easter and conference I indulged a little. But really only a little. I had one hollow chocolate egg, some Doritos, and three medium-size meringues with lemon curd and strawberries for dessert (yum!). And still I don't miss or crave sweets.
Today I took the day off to spend time with James, who has spring break today and tomorrow. Atticus went back to school today after his spring break last week, so it was nice to have some adult time. We went out to breakfast at our favorite French bakery, and I had hot chocolate, vegetable quiche with salad and rosemary roasted potatoes, and two macarons for dessert. I haven't made yummy noises in a restaurant in a long time, but I did today. But not for the macarons. They were just ok.
Now my "vacation" is over, and it's time to get back on track. Dinner tonight is greek salad, which is homemade potato salad mixed with romaine, tomatoes, feta, and olives with a lemony vinaigrette. When you mix it up the potato salad becomes part of the dressing, so it's not so heavy. I make it with delicious avocado-oil mayo, full of all those good fats. :)
The goal this week is to eat healthy meals--watching portion sizes, avoiding processed food, and increasing produce. She outlines a new strength training routine, but it's kind of high impact, so I'm going to continue with the one I've been doing. She also has a new ab workout.
Questions for Week 4
How do I feel about reducing my portion sizes?
I'm ok with it. I don't feel like I have a real problem in that area, though I could certainly improve.
Is there a certain food that is tripping me up each week (as in, I eat too much of it)? How could I deal with that this week?
I seem to have replaced sugar with fat. They're all "good fats"--nuts, eggs, unsweetened dairy--but they're still fat. The nice thing about fat is that it helps keep you feeling full longer. I can eat a cup of yogurt and honey or half a peanut butter bar and feel satisfied for a while, but crackers or apples or carrots just don't have the same effect, no matter how many I eat. I think I'll cut back my portion sizes for the fats and increase produce to balance it out.
How am I feeling about my body? Is it growing in strength?
See above. I'm frustrated with the scale but satisfied overall.
What does the future look like if I continue developing these new habits?
It looks pretty good. Even if I never lose another pound (which I really really hope won't be the case), I like what exercising has done for me so far. I've been toying with the idea of getting a fancy blender for smoothies instead of a bike, but I really want the bike. I love being outside, and I'm really looking forward to exploring the neighborhood on a bike. I still want the blender, though...
Have I planned my exercises and meals for this week?
Kind of. I know what we're eating for four or five meals, and I know what I want to do at the gym once my ankle starts cooperating again. I just don't know which days I'll go.
Do I have any favorite exercises?
I really like hand weights and squats. I did 50 squats Saturday (20 with weights), and other than my ankle, I didn't have trouble walking. A few years ago I did 50 squats and I couldn't walk straight for three days. So that's something.
And I overworked my ankle Saturday, so I've been hobbling in pain for two days. I had expected to feel better today, but no luck. Which means I'm not going to the gym today. Hopefully tomorrow.
This last week we were allowed to have one dessert if we wanted, so with it being Easter and conference I indulged a little. But really only a little. I had one hollow chocolate egg, some Doritos, and three medium-size meringues with lemon curd and strawberries for dessert (yum!). And still I don't miss or crave sweets.
Today I took the day off to spend time with James, who has spring break today and tomorrow. Atticus went back to school today after his spring break last week, so it was nice to have some adult time. We went out to breakfast at our favorite French bakery, and I had hot chocolate, vegetable quiche with salad and rosemary roasted potatoes, and two macarons for dessert. I haven't made yummy noises in a restaurant in a long time, but I did today. But not for the macarons. They were just ok.
Now my "vacation" is over, and it's time to get back on track. Dinner tonight is greek salad, which is homemade potato salad mixed with romaine, tomatoes, feta, and olives with a lemony vinaigrette. When you mix it up the potato salad becomes part of the dressing, so it's not so heavy. I make it with delicious avocado-oil mayo, full of all those good fats. :)
The goal this week is to eat healthy meals--watching portion sizes, avoiding processed food, and increasing produce. She outlines a new strength training routine, but it's kind of high impact, so I'm going to continue with the one I've been doing. She also has a new ab workout.
Questions for Week 4
How do I feel about reducing my portion sizes?
I'm ok with it. I don't feel like I have a real problem in that area, though I could certainly improve.
Is there a certain food that is tripping me up each week (as in, I eat too much of it)? How could I deal with that this week?
I seem to have replaced sugar with fat. They're all "good fats"--nuts, eggs, unsweetened dairy--but they're still fat. The nice thing about fat is that it helps keep you feeling full longer. I can eat a cup of yogurt and honey or half a peanut butter bar and feel satisfied for a while, but crackers or apples or carrots just don't have the same effect, no matter how many I eat. I think I'll cut back my portion sizes for the fats and increase produce to balance it out.
How am I feeling about my body? Is it growing in strength?
See above. I'm frustrated with the scale but satisfied overall.
What does the future look like if I continue developing these new habits?
It looks pretty good. Even if I never lose another pound (which I really really hope won't be the case), I like what exercising has done for me so far. I've been toying with the idea of getting a fancy blender for smoothies instead of a bike, but I really want the bike. I love being outside, and I'm really looking forward to exploring the neighborhood on a bike. I still want the blender, though...
Have I planned my exercises and meals for this week?
Kind of. I know what we're eating for four or five meals, and I know what I want to do at the gym once my ankle starts cooperating again. I just don't know which days I'll go.
Do I have any favorite exercises?
I really like hand weights and squats. I did 50 squats Saturday (20 with weights), and other than my ankle, I didn't have trouble walking. A few years ago I did 50 squats and I couldn't walk straight for three days. So that's something.
Monday, March 30, 2015
Birdie trash talk
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These little birds hang out by our side door all day. There's a third one (maybe more) sitting inside the tray at the inside top of the eave. They chirp all day, talking to these birds next door:
Again there are three or four of them at this house. They chirp back and forth, fluttering from roof to railing to bricks. They never fly from one house to the other.
This morning as I watched and listened to them, I could almost hear them trash-talking each other. "Yeah? You think you're sooo great because your house has bricks? Well, we've got a dog with a bell. Boo-yah!"
"Before" picture and weigh-in
I was going to post this cute picture of me and my boy eating sushi for my birthday, but then I saw the picture. Yeah, that's not going on Facebook. I had already been planning to start this program, but this really cemented my goal. I don't like looking like this. But the boy is cute. :)
Weighed in this morning, and I've lost another 1.2 lbs. Total loss to date: 2.2 lbs. I was really hoping the first 5 lbs would come off faster than this, but at least it's progress. This is going to be a long, slow process. But worth it in the end. It's already worth it. I just have to remind myself of that every so often.
Sunday, March 29, 2015
42 Days: Week 3
Pep talk from the booklet: "This 42-day thing is no fad diet. It's not get-slim-quick regimen. It's about putting in the time, the commitment, the effort, the mental shift, all of it. Because at the end of the day, and at the end of the challenge, and someday at the end of our days as we know them, we'll look back and have to answer one question: What did we do with what God gave us while we were here on the earth?"
Way to bring in the heavy, lady. Thanks a bunch.
But really, that's what this is all about: all of the things I want to do and experience that I can't right now because of my limitations. Because I haven't taken care of my body like I should. I want to hike. I want to travel. I want to have the energy and strength to do and see the beautiful things in this world.
I'm still having trouble with my ankle, but it's going to hurt whether I exercise or not, so I might as well exercise. I'm going to make an appointment this week for a cortisone injection, so we'll see how well that helps and how long it lasts.
Here are the official questions:
Am I starting to lose my motivation?
Yeah, maybe a little. I'm not seeing big results, and even though that's what I expected, you always hope for more. Plus the psychology of weight loss is sometimes self-defeating. I've been this size and shape for a while now, and I haven't always liked it, but I was ok with it because I knew I wasn't ready to do anything about it. Now that I'm ready to do something about it, I want it to change NOW. I'm no longer apathetic about my situation, so I'm more impatient.
But I'm actually getting MORE excited about exercise. The plan has you just do cardio three days and just do strength with a short warm-up two other days, which means you're getting some kind of exercise 5x a week. I combined the two, so I'm getting a solid cardio AND strength workout three days a week, which is an extra strength workout. But I haven't done anything the other days, so maybe the cumulative effect is less. Dunno. But this works for me.
I've started watching Magnum P.I. on Netflix when I'm on the elliptical machine. I workout longer and dread it less. Magnum is just for a workout--I'm not going to laugh out loud, and I'm not going to miss any major plot points (because there aren't any) if I look away to take a drink or check my progress. It's also funny to see the beginnings of feminist television--the lady cop (parole officer) is described as a no-nonsense "barracuda," but in a fight she still cowers back and tries not to get hurt.
But I digress...
Food challenges
This week wasn't much different for me, as I was already eating breakfast. I still don't crave sweets, and I'm ok passing them up. Starting tomorrow we are allowed one dessert a week, and I'm not sure I want to open that door. I've been thinking about making something special for Easter, but portion control is the hardest. I only get ONE dessert per WEEK, so having cake or cookies lying around for three days is not going to go well for me. My VT has figured out how to make half a cake mix so there aren't any leftovers when her family has dessert, but (1) I don't like cake mix, and (2) her family is bigger. Still, the concept applies. If I can make a really small batch of something James also likes, we might be ok. Pinterest, here I come. :)
If I have changed my diet and exercise in a positive direction, I have made progress. Is this progress visible yet? Can I admit to myself that it is still progress, even if I can't see it today?
Thanks for the reminder. Yes, positive change is progress. Not bingeing on chocolate every day at 3 is huge progress. Going from no exercise to three solid workouts a week is progress. Even if the scale doesn't budge, even if my pants are still too tight, I have made progress.
What are some of the positive changes I feel?
I'm less bloated and uncomfortable. I have more energy. I enjoy healthy food more. I look forward to workouts.
So there's my progress for this week. Next week the food challenge is to have a food "curfew" three hours before bedtime. I'm glad that starts tomorrow, because it's 7:45 and I'm about to eat a bowl of granola. :)
Way to bring in the heavy, lady. Thanks a bunch.
But really, that's what this is all about: all of the things I want to do and experience that I can't right now because of my limitations. Because I haven't taken care of my body like I should. I want to hike. I want to travel. I want to have the energy and strength to do and see the beautiful things in this world.
I'm still having trouble with my ankle, but it's going to hurt whether I exercise or not, so I might as well exercise. I'm going to make an appointment this week for a cortisone injection, so we'll see how well that helps and how long it lasts.
Here are the official questions:
Am I starting to lose my motivation?
Yeah, maybe a little. I'm not seeing big results, and even though that's what I expected, you always hope for more. Plus the psychology of weight loss is sometimes self-defeating. I've been this size and shape for a while now, and I haven't always liked it, but I was ok with it because I knew I wasn't ready to do anything about it. Now that I'm ready to do something about it, I want it to change NOW. I'm no longer apathetic about my situation, so I'm more impatient.
But I'm actually getting MORE excited about exercise. The plan has you just do cardio three days and just do strength with a short warm-up two other days, which means you're getting some kind of exercise 5x a week. I combined the two, so I'm getting a solid cardio AND strength workout three days a week, which is an extra strength workout. But I haven't done anything the other days, so maybe the cumulative effect is less. Dunno. But this works for me.
I've started watching Magnum P.I. on Netflix when I'm on the elliptical machine. I workout longer and dread it less. Magnum is just for a workout--I'm not going to laugh out loud, and I'm not going to miss any major plot points (because there aren't any) if I look away to take a drink or check my progress. It's also funny to see the beginnings of feminist television--the lady cop (parole officer) is described as a no-nonsense "barracuda," but in a fight she still cowers back and tries not to get hurt.
But I digress...
Food challenges
This week wasn't much different for me, as I was already eating breakfast. I still don't crave sweets, and I'm ok passing them up. Starting tomorrow we are allowed one dessert a week, and I'm not sure I want to open that door. I've been thinking about making something special for Easter, but portion control is the hardest. I only get ONE dessert per WEEK, so having cake or cookies lying around for three days is not going to go well for me. My VT has figured out how to make half a cake mix so there aren't any leftovers when her family has dessert, but (1) I don't like cake mix, and (2) her family is bigger. Still, the concept applies. If I can make a really small batch of something James also likes, we might be ok. Pinterest, here I come. :)
If I have changed my diet and exercise in a positive direction, I have made progress. Is this progress visible yet? Can I admit to myself that it is still progress, even if I can't see it today?
Thanks for the reminder. Yes, positive change is progress. Not bingeing on chocolate every day at 3 is huge progress. Going from no exercise to three solid workouts a week is progress. Even if the scale doesn't budge, even if my pants are still too tight, I have made progress.
What are some of the positive changes I feel?
I'm less bloated and uncomfortable. I have more energy. I enjoy healthy food more. I look forward to workouts.
So there's my progress for this week. Next week the food challenge is to have a food "curfew" three hours before bedtime. I'm glad that starts tomorrow, because it's 7:45 and I'm about to eat a bowl of granola. :)
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