My thoughts exactly

I just read a fantastic post about the facade Christians present. The author had a disagreement with a pastor who wanted to change the words to "Come Thou Fount" because he did not feel that he was "prone to wander." Because true Christians never waver, I guess. The author disagree, ,as clearly so do I. Click here to read it, as well as all the comments. Great stuff.

A Few Things

How do you not love this face? And the bundle of energy behind it? It's 9:30 p.m. and he's acting out some wild adventure with Shaggy and Scooby in the form of dollar-store mini car spaceships. His ongoing story pulls characters from everywhere. I even heard him yell, "Watch out, Magnum!" the other day. (What can I say? I've spent most of the summer in bed and the entire series is on Netflix. Quality TV.)

Now for the brain dump:

• My ankle really hurts today. It might be because my physical therapist is having me walk on it more, moving from two crutches to one, and doing strengthening exercises. Or it *might* be because I had to carry a screaming, thrashing 4-year-old over my shoulder up the stairs--without crutches--to get him in the shower and jammies. My sweet boy had the meltdown of all meltdowns last night while James was over at the other property trying to fix a leaky sprinkler in the dark, and I'm happy to say he was calm by the time James came home. But man, it was a rough half hour. Other than my sore foot, we seem to have suffered no lasting effects.
• If you haven't heard, we got a new car. It's a red 2010 Subaru Forester (Subaru forever!). Atticus's favorite feature is the cup holder that flips up from the middle of the back seat. I'll get pictures one of these days. 
• Two more weeks and I hope to get the big screws out of my ankle. The little screws and their plate are going to stay. Probably forever. Here are the x-rays so you know to which screws I am referring:

• I thought I had preschool set up for Atticus, then found out last week the teacher gave our spot away. Frustrating. But I hear there's still room at his old preschool, so we'll see if we can get in there. It's half-day afternoons, which isn't ideal, but I think we can make it work. If we get in.

I'd better sign off now. My sweet boy wants me to go snuggle him in bed. How can I resist?

Envy and Resentment

I miss my car. I really miss my car. It wasn't perfect, but it was comfy and reliable and my color and had all sorts of bells and whistles: moon roof, heated leather seats, wood trim, automatic everything, a stereo that encompassed you in music when you turned it up loud (and I like my music loud). And it was stylish and made me feel hip. I never feel hip. 

James says he resents it every time he sees another Outback on the road. How come they get to keep theirs while ours is smashed? We parked next to one almost identical to ours the other day, and the woman was smoking inside. How could she defile "our" car like that?

I may envy other Subaru drivers, but I don't resent them. I resent those who drive big trucks. Sure, there are plenty of reasons to need a truck like this: towing a boat or trailer, hauling farm or construction equipment, maintaining off-road trails and such.

But really, how many big truck owners actually do any of those things? How often? And do they really need an urban assault vehicle to do it? Or are they driving it because it's tough and manly and makes them feel powerful? So powerful that they can drive too fast on a mountain road and not pay attention to where they're going? I get angry when I see them advertised on tv, when I see them on the road. Especially if the radio's too loud and the driver's hat is on backwards.

I know this is my problem, and like many things, I just need to get over it. But if you do happen to own one of these trucks, would you mind not driving it near me for a while? Thanks. 

The Latest Update

This morning I got  my contraption replaced with a cast. It holds my ankle in a slightly different position, so it's going to take some getting used to. I get to keep it for two weeks and then move on to a walking boot. Apparently the bones are mending well.

Here are my X-rays, the first from the side and the second from the top. I don't think these screws are ever coming out. I might have to carry these with me next time I try to board a plane.

In the meantime Atticus has done some fun things, and I promise to get some of those pictures posted. Just not today. I think it's time for a nap.

My Philosophy on Life

I love just about everything from this artist, and everything on this page. But this one pretty much sums up my attitude toward life right now. I had plans. I had goals. They were even S.M.A.R.T. goals. I was going to get the details of my life in order. I was going to be proactive.

Then I got hit by a truck. Literally. And everything changed. I still have the same goals, but I have to develop patience as I learn new ways to achieve them. And so much is out of my control right now. I know we'll receive a settlement from the accident, and that our car appraised for more than we owe on it. But when we receive that money and how much and if/when we'll be able to buy a new car is completely out of my hands. 

Now I have a growth on my pancreas, which the doctor says is most likely benign and probably won't require surgery, but this isn't related to the accident, so we'll be responsible for those costs. I just hope they get it taken care of this year, when we've already maxed out our insurance deductible. 

So today I just throw up my hands and say, Father, I'll do my part and trust You to take care of the rest. Please just remind me what my part is again?

Update

I got my stitches out yesterday, and found out that the funky stitching was not the work of a poorly trained resident but was rather the complicated "trauma stitch." They're supposed to be easier to remove, but it hurt like heck. Oh well, they're out now. I get two more weeks with the rods, then the doctor will decide whether to move to a cast or a walking boot. I've heard nasty things about walking boots. I already have pain in my knee and hip from compensating for the injured foot, and I can't imagine a boot will help much. Input? Suggestions?

Today was another lazy day. Right now I'm not-really-watching the news and finishing off a pint of gelato brought to me by a generous friend. Dark chocolate and lavender-honey. I normally don't like flower-flavored food, but this is divine. It doesn't taste like soap or air freshener, just a subtle fresh flavor that happens to balance out the dark chocolate perfectly. If you're local, this can be found at Dolcetti in the Avenues. I assume they'd carry the same flavors at the 9th & 9th location.

America's Birthday

Yesterday we celebrated the 4th in typical mellow style. And just as typically, I don't have any pictures. Sorry. James and Atticus went to the ward breakfast while I stayed home and slept. Atticus had a lot of fun and didn't want to leave, even after most everyone was gone. Except that one of the few stragglers was his friend Afton. Her mom thinks they're such good friends because Atticus is an older, male version of Afton. They're the kind of kids who like to randomly shout out made-up words and laugh. That reminded James of the time Atticus decided to call him "Dr. Poop Suzie." Atticus thought it was the funniest thing in the world.

Last night our friends Sharon and Larry had a party. (I like to call them "ShaLar", which is probably funny only to me and Susan, who lived in the ShaLar apartments.) Friends, homemade ice cream, sparklers and fountain rockets. Most of the kids left early, so Atticus was the only kid left for fireworks. He was soooo excited. A little scared of the sparklers at first, but he got into the swing of things soon enough, keeping up a steady chant of YEA YEA YEA YEA YEA YEA YEA! And then clapping after each round.

By the end of the night my leg was getting pretty sore, and we came home and all fell into bed. Slept in until 9:00, and to be honest, I haven't gotten out of bed yet (it's 1:20). I told James I felt a little guilty for being so lazy, and he just told me to take a look at my leg. I can live with that. Outside is a gentle rain, the windows are open. Atticus is singing a song he made up. Today is a good day.