May Update

I have a food hangover. I ended a low-carb diet a week ago, and though I was careful about reintroducing grains gradually, I've gotten back into bad habits. So instead of doing the dishes, I'm drinking "detox" tea on the couch, watching Highlander (the series--soundtrack by Queen!) on Netflix, and updating my blog. Not a bad way to spend my few childless hours.

Highlights from the last week or so:

Family: Saturday was a family party to celebrate two of my sisters receiving their masters degrees. It was a good party, with family members who don't normally spend much time together getting along really well. My dad grilled carne asade, and my mom made Riley cake. It was all delicious, and I ate way too much.

Work: Yesterday I kind of got promoted at work. I've been working as an independent contractor with the Missionary Department, writing for historic sites and visitors' centers. Now I'll be doing the same thing, just as an "on call" employee for the Publishing Services Division (PSD). The benefits of this change is that I'll get involved in more projects, get more hours, and get a small raise. I'll also get more training and networking opportunities, which will help if I eventually want to go full time.

Atticus: He's started taking swimming lessons. It took us two weeks to get him to put his face in the water, and now that he has goggles (reward for putting face in water), he's willing to put his head all the way under the water. He's gotten good in the tub, so we'll see how he does in the pool Saturday.

The biggest event of the past couple months was, of course, Atticus's fifth birthday. My boy is 5! At first he wanted to stay four, but now that he's older than some of his friends, he thinks five is pretty cool. The day of his party started with the St. Patrick's Day parade. His preschool had a float, and James brought the pram. I think Atticus would have rather stayed on the float, but oh well.

 

I wanted to keep the party fairly small but still fun, so we rented a bounce house. It was a hit.

The boys. Atticus's best buddies, Caleb and Austin.

The girls: Sonora, Clare, and Ellie. Clare is his Scooby-Doo playmate. He's Fred, and she's Velma.

The cake. Atticus requested chocolate cake with blue frosting and pirate candles.

He was really excited about this present.

He told me several times that day that is was his best birthday ever. And I'd have to agree. I wouldn't say the party was mellow, but it was definitely low stress. A few of the parents hung out, so we talked while the kids played both outside and in Atticus's room. 

So life has been pretty good. Daily life, ups and downs. The usual.

Strange Sadness

This week we've been saddened by the death of my nephew Tyler's fiance, whom I did not know well but whom we just saw at a family party Saturday. It's felt odd to go on with life as normal when Tyler's life has been turned upside down. It's hard to know how to react to someone else's tragedy, other than to offer love and prayers.

Then yesterday I discovered (via Facebook) that my niece Iuliana is engaged. Her parents are divorced and she lives with her father, so I rarely see her. I'm happy for her, of course, but it made me sad to realize how little I know some members of my family.

Life is strange that way. I promise my next post will be less somber.

Atticus-isms and December Recap

Yeah, I know February's almost over, but better late than never, right? December was a busy month. Atticus and I visited my sister Susan in Illinois for a week while her husband was on a business trip, and of course I forgot my camera. He had a great time with his cousins, even though he was a little sick. And he did great on the plane, except that he had to go to the bathroom 5 times on the way home. Our seatmate wasn't too excited about getting up all the time, but he was nice about it.

The fun part was getting to make "girl food" that our husbands aren't excited about, like tofu and quinoa and all those fun things. When Atticus and I got back to Salt Lake, it was after 10 p.m. by the time we were in the car. I was hungry, so I wanted to stop somewhere on the way home to eat. I asked Atticus what he wanted, and he said with enthusiasm, "bwown wice!" Mama victory! But also a failure because of course there aren't any drive-thrus with brown rice, so I said, "How about chicken nuggets?" *sigh*

Then about a week after we got back, we loaded up the car for our first road trip to visit James's family in Arizona for Christmas. I wasn't sure how Atticus would do for so long in the car, even though we were breaking up the drive by stopping in Vegas. I decided to take notes.

Friday, 10:40 a.m., driveway: "I want to stay home."

11:30 a.m., Orem: "I want to squirrel around like I'm not in my carseat!" (Blankie and pacifier calmed him down.)

11:40 a.m.: Atticus asleep.

3:15 p.m., Kanarraville: "Atticus, stop hitting yourself in the head with the dreidel."  "No, Mama, the dreidel is my friend and he keeps hitting me for something and he won't tell me what it is. Ow. Ow. Ow." (Dreidel got a time-out.)

5:01: "I feel like eating play-doh."

We finally made it to Circus Circus and settled in to our room. Atticus thought it was pretty cool. His favorite part was the lighted wardrobe: 

The next day we checked out all Las Vegas has to offer, which we concluded isn't much if you're not going to gamble, watch a show, or eat at fancy restaurants. Or shop in high-end stores. But we still had a good time. Here's Atticus on top of the "Eiffel Tower" at the Paris casino: 

Sunday we stopped at the temple before hitting the road again. The  notes resume:

Kingman rest stop: (Said rapid-fire to no one in particular as he got out of his seat) "My body's saying POOOOOP! POOOOOP! My body's selling poop to anyone who wants some. They're poop toys."

Finally we reached Nana and Grandpa's house. It was good to see the family and spend Christmas with them. Here are some of my favorite photos:

With the saguaro next to Nana's house (the red roof is theirs) 

Making our gingerbread house.

Public art in downtown Mesa

With cousins Brian and Thomas. It took us about 5 tries to get Thomas's "action shot." Atticus was really sad to leave their house. He had so much fun with them.

Heading home. This time we stopped overnight in St. George. 

The night before we left, Atticus said, "I never want to leave this place." He had it all worked out how we could move in with Nana and Grandpa. He even claimed his bedroom. He was sad to leave, but he was happy to see his own room and toys again. I was happy about the box of lemons Atticus helped me pick from Grandpa's tree. They were gorgeous and tasty. One medium box gave us 1 1/2 gallons of lemon juice, most of which is in our freezer. We've been drinking it in water, club soda, and lemonade. Yum!

It was a good month. Lots of family, lots of travel, lots of love. 

Progress?

Atticus made his bed this morning. He was very proud.

He decided he needed only one blanket because the others were "too tangled."

Small victories. :)

Ouch.

We're getting close to finalizing our insurance settlement from the accident, and I got a copy of this message from our lawyer to the insurance company:

"Given the medical expenses and limited insurance available, Heidi will not come close to being made whole."

That almost made me cry. I know what he meant: "After medical expenses, her cash settlement will not adequately compensate for her injury." But that line "Heidi will not come close to being made whole" just pierced me. My leg never will be whole again. I will function normally, but never as well as I would have otherwise.

And that hurts.

I was going to give this a positive spin, a life-affirming "it will all work out for the best" vibe, which I do believe, but I think right now I just want to feel that hurt and accept it.

Of course ours is the weird kid

Atticus participated in his first Primary program on Sunday. He had his line memorized and had practiced saying it slowly and clearly. He even knows some of the songs.

But once he got on the stand, it all disappeared. During the songs he didn't know (and even parts of some he did), he leaned on the railing with his chin in his hands, looking really bored. Or he danced around. One of our friends in the front row observed that it looks like Atticus always has a Star Wars battle scene in his head that he's trying to act out. That kid is never still.

Then came the moment: his line! He stood at the microphone and wilted. Even with prompting he curled up and refused to speak. They let him go and little Afton, who isn't even officially in Primary yet, marched up and said her line, pleased as punch.

Afterward I asked him why he didn't say his line, and he just said, Huh? I reminded him, "I follow Jesus' example when I go to church." And he got really upset: I want to say it! I missed it! What happened?! We let him say it at the pulpit (microphone off), and the Primary president said he could do it again in Primary next week.

I think Atticus just didn't get what was going on. He'd missed the forest for the trees, lost in his perpetual narrative.

Speaking of narrative, Atticus pulled his new socks up to his knees this morning and called himself Wonder Boy. I asked him if he wanted to wear his soccer socks, which are even longer, and he said, "No, Wonder Boy doesn't wear blue socks, just white socks." Good to know.

My goodness, I love that boy.

Ready or not, here comes Chrismas

(from last year)

Atticus has been talking about Christmas for the past month. For a couple weeks he was obsessed with nutcrackers, asking over and over again for a nutcracker that's NOT a Christmas decoration. I blame his friend Henry, who has fireman and soccer player nutcrackers. I wasn't about to shell out $20 for the not-really-a-toy nutcracker he begged for at Lowe's, but James made Atticus's week when he found a small one at the dollar store. It even had a working lever that makes the mouth move. Fan-TAS-tic.

Last week at preschool they had face painting, and Atticus asked for a Christmas tree. Everyone else was a butterfly or a tiger or Spiderman, but Atticus had a big green nose and a gold star between his eyes. He was thrilled. 

He's also been talking about what he wants to get, of course. I've been very upfront about how Daddy and I are Santa Claus (yes, I know, I'm a HORRIBLE person for attempting to deprive my child of Christmas fantasy), but my efforts have fallen on deaf ears. He asked how he could tell Santa what he wanted, and I said he could just tell me, because I'm Santa--I buy the presents. "I know, I know, but what about the REAL Santa? With the reindeer?" Ok, fine. I'm his helper. (I'm not going to insist he stop believing; I just don't want there to be disappointing surprises later.) 

Now when he tells me about something he wants, he asks if I've written it down. I only write down what he mentions repeatedly, and so far the list is a DreamLight and a Scooby-Doo Mona-Tiki-Tia play set. The problem is he wants a Curious George DreamLight, which they don't actually make, but he thinks maybe it can be found at another store or Santa can just make it. (And they're $30! Are you kidding me?) And though I've seen pictures of a Scooby-Doo figure with a tiki head, they don't make them anymore, and they certainly don't come in the exactly-like-the-episode detail in a foldable, portable play set that he has described. So I can pay top dollar for a collectible set, but it still won't be exactly what he wants. (See why I'm reluctant to perpetuate the fantasy of elves that can make anything??) We may have to settle for action figures of the full Scooby gang. A friend found Daphne, Velma, and Shaggy at a thrift store, but we're missing Fred and Scooby.

Then there are the things I want to get him, like a bike or scooter, and maybe some better shoes. I'm all for restraint in gifts (I really like the idea of three gifts like the gifts of the Three Kings--not counting gifts from extended family), but it's hard not to try to make all his dreams come true. 

I believe experiences are more important than things, so I'm going to focus my energies on memorable activities, which are often free. Sledding, lights, live Nativities, a trip to the mall to see Santa, gingerbread cookies, decorating the tree. That's what Christmas is made of. I hope.