One year ago today....

...was the day my little Atticus was born. I'm sorry to say that it was not a happy day. Right now it is 10:24 p.m. One year ago this minute I was on morphine, our sweet little boy was on a ventillator, and James was feeling lost in between us. It was two more days before I was allowed to leave my bed long enough to go see my tiny son, and another day before I could hold him.

I wanted so much for his arrival in this world to be a happier event. I ached to hold him and rock him and kiss his sweet head. I wanted him to sleep next to me so I could listen to him breathe, and hold him on my chest so he could hear my heart.

And although I will freely admit the blessings we all received during this difficult time and the unforseen benefits of Atty's hospital time, I so so so wished it to be different.

But tonight I rocked him to sleep and kissed his sweet head and told him how wonderful he is and how happy I am that he's here. Tonight I got to do what I missed out on a year ago. Tonight I get to listen to him breathe in his sleep and marvel at how absolutely beautiful he is.

I'll post about today's festivities tomorrow. Tonight I just want to bask in the wonder of our son, our sweet Atticus, and how far he's come. We love you, little boy, more than you will ever know. You are the treasure of our lives.

The boy likes beans

He's not so fond of cereal and vegetables. Strained carrots are ok, but to get him to eat barley cereal and peas I had to make him laugh to get him to open his mouth so I could sneak the spoon in. Today he caught on and figured out how to laugh with tight lips.

But man, sit down on the couch with a bowl of beans, and he's all over you. Last week James and I had chili beans and cornbread for dinner, and Atty came begging. So I gave him half a bean (sauce sucked off), and he kept asking for more. Once I was too slow so he started yelling. Then today I had curried lentils and rice for lunch (so yummy and soooo easy!), and he came begging again (this was after the tight-lip feeding debacle). I thought the curry would be too spicy for him, but he didn't even seem to notice. He wouldn't leave me alone until it was all gone.

I loved seeing his little happy face with curry sauce around his mouth. I think for his dinner tonight I'll skip the cereal and open a can of beans. :)

Atty Photos of the Week

It has been impossible to get a picture of Atticus's teeth. He just cut his fifth one recently, and his desire to gnaw on things has never been greater. Still, he gets really coy and sheepish when you bring out the camera and aim for his mouth. It is like the teeth retract. The shot normally ends up like this:




But at last, with the help of a cell phone camera, we now have evidence that our boy is no longer toothless. Sorry the image is a little grainy, but when you're dealing with something as elusive as a sasquatch, you take what you can get.

I really want this book. Really really.

Just wanted to let you know in case someone felt inclined to buy it for me. (*cough*mybirthday'sintwoweeks*cough*) Yes, I really am that shameless.

Rejection Dejection

I applied to sell some of my goods at the spring Beehive Bazaar, and I was rejected. Or should I say "not accepted." Doesn't sound quite as painful that way. Not that I'm heartbroken over it or anything. It would have been a lot of work to get enough product ready, and I would have had to spend more money than I wanted to buy supplies. But it would have been fun. I like making little birds. Here's what I was hoping to sell:

Birdie Mobiles

These are the same style birds I made for Atty's mobile (still not assembled), but without the embroidery. For Atty's mobile I want to use an interesting stick, like maybe curly willow, instead of beaded wire for the frame. And maybe I'll add some felt leaves. Maybe that will be my project this weekend.

Birdie Ornaments

I really like these little birds. I want to get a bare tree branch on a stand and hang them from it, again with some felt leaves. And maybe a little nest. Who knows.

I plan to put these up in my Etsy shop soon, with the option of personalization. I've also made some smaller versions of the ornaments above as pins. I haven't taken any pictures yet, but they have words on them and will come with corresponding quotes. So the one that says "hope" will come with the lines "hope is the thing with feathers / that perches in the soul" from Emily Dickenson. And the one that says "faith" will come with the quote "Faith is the bird who feels the light and sings while the dawn is still dark." Once I get the packaging done for those I'll post them and let you know here.

My next projects are going to be a growth chart for Atty and more fused plastic. I got a boatload of bags from Lara and a couple other sources, so I plan to have fun with those. Whatever I make will probably end up on Etsy as well. Just don't go looking now, because I still just have my Christmas stuff up. Maybe next week. I'll let you know.

I told you he was getting fast

A Confession and a Request

I finished this bag today, and I'm really quite proud of it. It's made entirely from fused plastic shopping bags, which I then sewed together.

Here's the back (above) and the side (below).

Here's the confession: I made this for a "valentine-themed reusable grocery bag" swap, but now I think I'm going to keep it. But I feel kind of guilty because my reasoning is lame. I got mine in the mail yesterday, and it's really lame. It's a store-bought canvas bag with puff-paint hearts all over it. The woman who sent it admits she's not artistic, just crafty, and it was still fun to get something in the mail, but after putting so much thought and effort into my bag I feel kind of cheated.

I don't send my bag to the same person, so I was briefly tempted to just send the puff-paint bag to my recipient, but why spread the disappointment? But I still don't want to send her my fused-plastic creation, so I'm sending this one instead:

I had most of it already made as part of a project I abandoned a long time ago, so I just had to hem the top, put on the handles, and add the heart. It's still a nice bag, and probably more functional, but not nearly as cool as the other. Am I being totally lame by not sending the fused plastic?

Now for the request: I'm kind of addicted to fused plastic right now, and I'm running out of bags. If you're willing to part with yours, would you please save them/send them to me? I'd even reimburse you for postage. Grocery store bags work ok, and I'd be happy to get some from stores other than Albertsons, Wal-Mart, and Smiths, but the thicker bags from clothing stores or even Target work a little better. I don't want you to go out of your way or anything, and I don't want you to ask stores for unused bags. But if you happen to have some, I'd love it if you'd send them my way.